Name:     Michael L. S.   [E-Mail]
      Location:  Earth
      Website:  Middle East Resource Center

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RECENT POSTS:

By now probably the entire world is aware of the Madeleine McCann saga: the little girl who apparently got kidnapped in Portugal following a breathtaking demonstration of good parenting skills by her mommy and daddy who went a-partying while leaving their three kids unmonitored for more than a half hour at a time. As if the ensuing media circus wasn't enough, we today got plangent reports of another toddler gone missing in Nigeria.

Being the heartless S.O.B. that I am, I cannot help but be cynical about this. With all due respect to the parents' pain and all, but what the hell are these people doing in Nigeria anyway?! They, together with their superiors, subordinates, companies and all the accompanying infrastructure are there for the SOLE reason of making money and milking that woebegone African country for all it's got. There are obviously still some spoils left even after centuries of colonialist robbery.

Tell you what, you Limey dicks: if you don't want to have yourselves or your family members kidnapped and worse, piss off out of Nigeria. The Nigerian people should be the ones exploiting their natural resources instead of being reduced to spamming my inbox with a dozen emails every day promising me a cut of US$ 20million from some deceased general if only I give them my bank account details.

TEABAGS OUT!!!

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There's increasingly tumultuous maelstrom in Pakistan. The government has finally gotten off its ass and decided to storm a masjid--hotbed of terror--located in the heart of the country's capital. However, the hundreds of soldiers deployed to deal with the ultra-religious losers holed in there were halted in their tracks after discovering dozens of innocent women and children being used as human shields. The leader of the "students" had earlier tried to flee the battleground disguised as a woman wearing a burqa.

We witness these cowardly tactics employed very frequently, Beslan being, perhaps, the most tragic example. In the Palestinian territories, for instance, terrorists of every flavor hide behind civilians de rigueur. And yet, in their proclamations everywhere from masjid speakers at Friday prayers to video recordings to various propaganda fliers, these intellectually impotent underachieving unsexed pieces of shit brag about their putative gallantry, resolve and honor only to go hide behind a skirt (or, in this case, burqa) at the first sign of trouble.

Conclusion: Jihadis are chickenshit sissies.

You can quote me on that.

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Finally, the news-wise ubiquitous "terror" "attack" on the Glasgow airport. Let's recapitulate: a couple of well educated, intelligent guys take a jeep and make a halfassed attempt at penetrating into the Glaswegian airport having at some point set the said jeep on fire. They manage to make ingress but then chicken out (reportedly because the jeep had not caught on fire) and are effortlessly subdued by a baggage cart handler. Subsequent investigation discloses that the jeep was supposed to ignite into a great conflagration further aided by a few canisters filled with gas (petrol) and ball bearings in the back. Piece de resistance, one of the "suicide bombers" had even written a suicide note with all the usual rhetorical trimmings. (No video with the flags, masks, Qur'anic verses, etc. though -- damn!)

Did anyone else notice--in photos later released--that the "canisters" were in fact heavy gas cylinders designed precisely to preclude an explosion in engulfed by fire? In other words, these two miscreants were dumb enough to utilize the single most fire-retardant container available to members of the public to effect a "ball of fire." And then, the two self-affirmed "martyrs" seemingly light the jeep with a match instead of, say, dousing it with gasoline in advance to ensure it really lights up. Last but not least, realizing that the plan is not going quite as envisioned, they shrug their shoulders, exit the vehicle and start flailing their arms about.

Who's banging whom in the brain here? Even my gay colleague from Oman by the name of Norman could've knocked up a more effective and foolproof plan than the antecedent in five minutes.

The whole story is so incredible that it beggars belief anyone could even briefly entertain its veracity. It's just another lousy production courtesy of the English "intelligence" services. But hey, it makes for great theatrics.

Panem et circenses, my friends.

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And, in case you're wondering: yes, I'm in a bad mood.

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