Name:     Michael L. S.   [E-Mail]
      Location:  Earth
      Website:  Middle East Resource Center

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A new, fourth, version of Apple's iPhone was just launched. It has the capabilities and features that it should have had three years ago in its original iteration. Still, tens of thousands of losers have gone into a frenzy, camping out in front of Apple stores days in advance to be the very first to get the device. MOOOOOOOOOOO! There's clapping, whoops of joy and screams from both other customers and store staff when the first few get their hands on their iPhone and walk toward the exit. Never mind that in terms of its specifications, the phone is, at best, average in the today's market and that quite a few issues have already been reported. It's funny that, whereas once Apple aficionados were seen as enlightened freethinking nonpareils, today they're a far more amorphous herd than the dime-a-dozen beige-PC users ever were.

Next from Apple: One layer toilet paper without perforations but with an Apple logo. It's called iCrap. Available at $12.99 for a single roll, or $99.99 for a pack of eight, which includes a 128MB flash dongle. It's black in color, which no-one ever did before. Revolutionary! Members of the audience attending the pre-launch were fainting with ecstasy when Jobbs unveiled it and proceeded to demonstrate how to use it. It is predicted to fly off the shelves faster than any previous Apple product. iCrap 2G already touted; it will have two plies and be available in two colors: White and black. There are rumors that perforations might be introduced in the third generation issue.

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